Friday, March 17, 2006

Dickie's Dish of the Day

Now, we here at the World of Dickie Entrails don't just sneer and carp, fun though that is. We also like to celebrate the positive, and especially in our choice of 'Dickie's Dish of the Day'.
New readers may not have noticed, but every week we chalenge conventional wisdom by having, instead of page 3, a Dish for the ladies (and any chaps whose tastes lead them to savour our choice of Dish) who has something very special. It's not just about looks, we require something more, which is why this time we're going for Yorkshire and England fast medium bowler, Matthew Hoggard!
We require brains as well as brawn, and Matthew actually writes his Times columns himself! Plus, in addition to being very penetrative with the new ball when conditons suit, he can be relied upon to keep his length and line up for long spells! (Dicky's green with envy on that one.) Plus he swings it both ways (a huge plus in Dicky's eyes) and can be relied to keep his end up for a lengthy stint with the wand in his hands.
Known as "Hoggy" in the dressing room (aren't cricketers imaginative with their nicknames?) could lead us to endless porcine puns, but we're sticking with having him served whole, honey roasted, on a platter with yorkshire pudding, and a pint of real ale on the side. And don't forget that red sphere in his gob to set the look off.
Now, let's make the interweb thingy work: Hoggy will be having an extra tough workload in Mombai with Steve Harmison crocked, so let's make sure that the good news of his selection get through to him. Imagine how chuffed he'd be to see this column printed out and stuck up on the dressing room wall!
Dicky Entrails: with the England cricket team throughout their tour of India.

Classic Dishes Still Available.

Don't forget, if you want a second helping of Punk at Heart Tory Micheal Gove MP, the thinking woman's love puppy, Julian Worricker or asteroid-aware Lib Dem Lembit Opik they can be yours at the click of a mouse. Enjoy!

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